I would like to thank all of you for reading my blog! I hope that you get as much enjoyment out of reading it as I do writing it. I try to bring a different perspective on things that affect our society. My most popular topic so far dealt with women creating cheating men. I was grateful for the amount of buzz that it generated but I was also slightly disappointed. Of all the things people have to worry about, cheating seems to be tops on the list. I didn’t understand why. I understand that it can be a devastating event in someone’s life if you are married but single people seem to be more concerned about it. Single folks have it made right? Uncommitted roaming throughout your city sampling as many of the opposite sex as you desire. One night stands, threesomes, booty calls that’s the life right? Not according to my single friends.
For me, being single was an adventure. Searching for the ideal woman had its ups and downs. I did not restrict myself to just African-American women. My invitation was open to all women as long as personality and physical requirements were met. Being single gave me time to work on myself as well. These were the years when the boy in me had to succumb to the ways of a gentleman. Everything from the clothes that I wore to the way I carried myself, had to be fine tuned. Going out required hours of preparation.
One of my younger cousins had a birthday party at Niki”s one Saturday night. Niki’s is one of the hottest clubs in Detroit. On any given night, there can be a line wrapped around the corner of people waiting to get in. According to my single friends, this is the place to be! I have to admit the decor and layout were flawless. I saw why my single friends and family like this place. Big and spacious with lots of dark corners for which to cozy and mingle. An endless flood of people flowed in and out all night. As people walked by and danced, I started making some observations. One thing for sure is that these folks dressed horribly. Women barely had anything on. Breasts were exposed to the limits. Cleavage paled in comparison to mini-skirts which showed as much butt as it did legs. Nothing left to the imagination. Nothing hidden for modesty. All tattoos exposed for show. No matter the location. My wife always says that women dress according to what men like. Women have to be mindful. Yes we men love breasts and butts but if that is all you show us, that is all we will expect from you. For some of you, that might be all you have to offer.
The men were not much better. They had clothes on but no style. No polish or attention to detail. Each guy tried to look as close as he can to an extra in a Hip-Hop video while staying within a very loose dress code. During my single days, a suit and a nice shirt was mandatory. It was hard to get a woman’s attention in a club back then without being as close to flawless as possible. Here we are 10 years later and the guys who dressed and acted like Lil Wayne were the ones getting noticed. It became apparent that both sexes have lowered their standards considerably
I see it everyday. Guys don’t open doors for women anymore. Just because you hit the button on your key and the doors unlock, does not mean that you opened the door for her. I use to shake my head at young guys that don’t open doors for a lady when she enters a building. I had to re think this a few times over the past few years. I have gone places and have open the door for a lady as I was raised to do only to be accused of trying to start a conversation. One girl would not walk through the door after I opened it. I got kinda offended. Just because I open the door for a lady does not mean I am interested. It is what gentlemen are supposed to do. The thing that most of my male family and friends complain about the most is buying drinks. When a man is out, it is customary that a man buy a woman a drink when starting a conversation at a bar. However, things aren’t all that simple. A friend of mine told me about one day at the neighborhood bar where saw a very nice looking young lady who was with 3 of her friends. He walked over and asked her if he could buy her a drink. He said that she replied without hesitation “What about my girls too?”. Some girls won’t wait. They will just come up to you and ask if you want to buy them a drink whether you are interested or not. I have seen young ladies sit a tables and drink water until they can get a guy to buy them a drink. Sad but true.
I guess that what being single is nowadays. It also answers a few question on why folks are so concerned with cheating. Dating these days are littered with disrespect. Not only for each other but ourselves as well. Expectations are lowered across the board. More and more people are settling for the best of nothing instead of looking for the best of all. I see a lot of men accepting what they see instead of getting to know the whole package. So you pretty much put yourself in harm’s way with nothing to go on but a nice pair of breasts. Or if you are a woman, you aren’t use to a gentleman. So when one does come you way, you think he’s soft or strange and you will always go out with guys that won’t treat you like a lady. I can tell you this for a fact. I wouldn’t want to be single for nobody! Holla if you hear me!
– K. Greene